Fading Sunshine


Our 16-year-old cat, Sunshine, is losing her battle with old age. We don’t expect her to last much longer. She is very skinny, although her long hair covers up that fact, and is having trouble controlling her hind legs. Sunshine was a regular purr machine. All it took was walking into the room for her to get her motor going. I haven’t heard her purr for the last 2 days.


Sunshine and Friskie both were cats we rescued from the pound. Sunshine’s mother and littermate were also there. Karen picked Sunshine, Christy picked Friskie, Friskie was a ball-of-fire never stand still little hunk of fur and claws. I tried to convince Christy to get Sunshine’s littermate because I saw nothing but trouble in Friskie. Of course, I was wrong but Friskie was never a sit in your lap purring kind of cat. Sunshine, on the other hand got into the habit of trying to crawl up your arm or leg to make you pick her up. She liked to lie on my chest (usually with her butt in my face). Many times over the past several months when I went to lie on the sofa and soak my shoulders with cold packs Sunshine was up on the sofa and crawling up on me even before I could get the cold packs positioned.


Now we are faced with that sad dilemma that sometimes comes with having a pet. Do we let her slowly fade away hoping she is not in pain or do we have her put to sleep. It’s a dilemma simply because I know I can’t do the latter. I brought our cat Topaz in to be euthanised many years ago and I was so choked up with emotion I couldn’t talk to the veterinarian. So unless Sunshine is in obvious bad pain I would not be able to do it.


I take the death of a pet hard. It’s the main reason I’ve resisted pets whenever I can. Yes I am better for the pet experience. And they bring so much joy and laughter and companionship to life. But as with Brie, our year-old cat, I don’t pick her up or play with her without the thought nagging me that one day I will likely be watching her suffer and die – or worse as with our dog Annie something happens that takes her in her prime. I’ve dug too many graves with tears in my eyes and I’m not totally sure that with me the good outweighs the bad pet experience.


I like to think that our pets join us in heaven. It isn’t unusual thinking. John Edwards, the guy that communicates with those who have crossed over, often mentions pets. Even the TV show “Ghost Whisperer” has animal ghosts. It is nice to think that I will once again see (making the assumption I get there) Candy, Bootsy, Whiskers, Waddles, Pidge, Coffee, Topaz, Big Red, Sheeba, Annie, Allie, Friskie and BYC without having to say good-bye.